Little Feminist
by ZanderPatton
Summary: Just Read. You'll like.


Zander Patton

Beki Test

Final Essay

English 2567

Tuesday/Thursday 12:30 pm

Chapter One

"Hey, Jen!" I yell into the basement where my wife is currently doing laundry. "I'm going to go out with the guys for a bit. Maybe shoot some pool. Is that okay?" I don't wait for her reply. I grab my keys and wallet and shove them into their respective places.

"Sure, but please be home before midnight. We have an 8 am doctor's appointment for Henry tomorrow. I don't want you to be cranky." I can hear the smirk in her voice before I even see it. She's bringing up a full laundry basket when I turn around and we partially collide.

"Sorry babe. I'll be home long before then. Can't have my precious wife be lonely all night." My mocking comment is met with her hard slap on my arm. I give her a playful "ow" as a response.

"I'll be home by 10, sober and exhausted. I love you, baby girl."

She blows me a kiss and genuinely smiles. "Have fun, hun. Say hi to the guys for me. Go in and kiss your son then get your butt outta my house."

I steal a kiss from her and go into the living room where my son, Henry is playing with his Superhero Barbie.

"Hey, Bub. Daddy's goin' out for a bit. Behave for Mommy okay?" I ruffle his blonde curls and kiss the top of his head.

His two year old response warms my heart. "Okay. Be safe, Daddy. I love you. "

"Love you too, Bub."

I go through the house again to ensure I have everything I need. I pat my pockets. Wallet. Keys. Sunglasses. Wait, jacket. I grab a light jacket off the hook and head for the door.

"Love you guys. I'll be home by 10." I shout into the quiet house.

Chapter Two

I'm driving in the car with NPR playing in the background. There's some talk show about whether or not Hilary Clinton would make a good president. Her being a woman and this only being 2015 means that it's still a debate worth having after all.

I turn up the volume and proceed to pay attention to the discussion.

"Hilary doesn't have the right skill set required to run the country."

"**What qualifications is she lacking?"**

_A penis. Say it. I dare you, _I think aloud.

"**She has made numerous accomplishments while First Lady and as Secretary of State." **

I just shake my head at the thought of Hilary Clinton being underqualified.

"A woman's hormones must be taken into consideration when dealing with such matters of power."

_I highly doubt hot flashes will make her wanna send troops to their death. _

"**Why aren't a man's hormones considered when he becomes President?"**

"That's different."

"**No, that's sexism in its purest form." **

I smirk at the guest comment and hit the volume knob to mute the radio.

_Stupid men._

Chapter Three

I pull into the parking lot about 15 minutes later and hop out. I turn and see my high school buddy, Vince pulling up. Zeke and Austin must already be inside. I scan the parking lot for their car to confirm my thought.

Vince and I 'guy-hug'. That sort of ultra-manly hug dudes do. He pats my back once. No twice. Done. We pull apart and start catching up as we walk inside.

"How's the wife?" He doesn't use Jennifer's name ever. Either he doesn't remember or he's objectifying her just like he's done numerous times before. Neither makes me exceptionally happy. I'll throw him a rope.

"Jen's good." I try to keep my sentences short, like the other guys do. "Gettin' on my case a lot about working so much."

_No she's not. Seemed like the right thing to say and all though, Nagging wife stereotype. _

"Bitches, man." He shrugs like it means nothing to him. It probably doesn't.

"She's not a bitch." The defensive animal in me comes out. _Don't get too emotional. It's not manly. _"She just worries about me."

"Calm down. Don't get your panties in a wad, princess. Didn't mean to offend you." He doesn't sound genuine. They're just words you say to someone.

I try to let it roll off my back but it's stuck in the back of my mind now.

Chapter Four

Zeke and Austin already look to be two beers in and are sitting at our usual booth. We come here a lot. Or at least the three of them do. They wave as we enter and we head their way.

"Hey, guys." I fist bump Zeke and slap Austin's back as I approach.

_Nice approach. Not too touchy feely. Very masculine. Good job. _

Zeke finishes his conversation with Austin about how the Nets aren't going to amount to anything this season while they scoot over to make room for us on the bench.

The barely 21 year old waitress comes over and leans against the table. We know her pretty well by now. She's been trying to get Austin's attention ever since she started serving us on her first night. She's not his type. Ya know, female.

"I'll grab whatever's on tap." Vince's usual order. He says with a wink, he's been trying to get her attention from day one. "And let's have some fried pickles too. Bring it out quick sexy and I'll have a great big tip for ya." He grabs his junk and thrusts in his seat. She gasps and visibly shutters. I remember getting unwanted male attention. Gross.

I slug him in the arm. Hard. He laughs it off and rubs his arm.

"I'll just do whatever. Surprise me." I smile apologetically. So much for being sober.

Zeke and Austin order a round of bourbons for the whole table.

Amelia, the waitress, gives Austin a big smile and says, "I'll be right back with that boys." She walks towards to bar.

Once she's out of earshot I slug Vince a second time. Harder. "Dude, why are you such a creep? She's 21, you're almost 10 years older than she is." I hadn't planned on reprimanding him but the words are out of my mouth before I can think them through fully. Might as well keep going. "You need to quit that shit. Women don't appreciate that."

"Oh so you know what women appreciate huh?" Now he's on the defense. "Just because you were one years ago doesn't mean you know what they want. If you're gonna be a man, act like one."

That's a low blow even for him. "Being transgender has nothing to do with it. You're objectifying her. If you took the time to look up from her tits you'd see the grimace she was giving you while you were talking at her."

"Whatever, she likes the attention." He grabs a handful of nuts and pops them into his mouth. I rub my temples and resist the urge to slug him.

Zeke chimes in, "Let's go shoot some pool. Get this tension outta the air. I'll take Vince on my team. Matt, you have Austin."

Chapter Five

We play a couple games of pool, grab a couple more beers and shots and before I know it, it's 9:30. I slap Zeke's back and shake his hand. "Good game, man. Still can't believe I let you win two out of five." I mock salute Austin and slug Vince in the shoulder again. "I'll see you guys later. Wife'll be worried about me. Gonna head home."

They nod knowingly and I swig back the last of my beer before grabbing my jacket and heading out the door. I'm not drunk but I can feel it. I decide against chancing it and call a cab. I'll grab my car in the morning.

The cabbie comes to pick me up and I'm trying to keep my eyes open on the ride home. Definitely made a good call on not driving home tonight. Before too long, we arrive at my loft and I throw some cash the driver's way and stumble a bit into the foyer. Jennifer and Henry should be asleep by now so I take my shoes off at the door and try to tip toe throughout the house.

Jennifer is reading in our bedroom and she looks up when I bump into the doorway.

"Thought you said you'd be sober."

"Thought wrong. You know what really bugs me? Sexism."

"Oh boy." She chuckles and closes her book while she waits for my ranting to begin.

"No seriously. Why do men have all the power? That's what's wrong with the world. Men run it."

"Baby, you're drunk. Just strip and get into bed."

I shake my head and groan. "It's a lot of responsibility to have all the power. Why not share? I want you to have power. And you to have power and you to have power." I point to inanimate objects as I say each sentence.

Jennifer tries to stifle her laugh and she fails miserably.

"What do you mean by power?"

I shrug lazily. "I want you to be president. Or be more than just a stay at home mom."

"I can be."

I groan and stomp my foot childishly. "No you can't."

"Baby, come to bed." She pulls me into bed.

I finally oblige and try to close my eyes.

"Hun, don't shut your eyes so tight,"

"I don't wanna sleep."

"You're five right now. I swear."

"Who gave us this power? Seriously. Let's have this discussion. You're a feminist. Teach me." I sit up in bed and look at her expectantly while she slowly rises to my level.

"Well, society has been keeping these rules in place for a long time but we as individuals have been very complacent."

"Why? How are we complacent?"

"It's in the littlest things we do such as telling our boys to be strong and not cry or our girls to close their legs and accept unwanted attention."

"Okay. Thank you."

My eyes slowly close and the alcohol starts to take over. Jennifer slowly pushes me down into bed and we snuggle up.

"Good night, my little feminist."

"Good night."

Interview with the Author

Interviewer (I): What comes to mind when you think of what it means to be transgender? To my knowledge you have some experience in that area?

Author (A): It means to be myself. It's always been a part of me and I've never know a life without it. I was never the gender I was assigned. I was a guy from the beginning and surgery and hormones just made people respect my gender on the outside. It gave it outsider validation.

I: How has being transgender affected your view on the world?

A: Once I came out it made me reevaluate all the labels I had been sticking to things. I'm such a symbolic interactionist that the meanings and ideas in my life changed drastically especially when talking about people. I didn't need to know anyone's sexual orientation or their gender identity. I just need to know them and the rest is just extra. I've started to see people as themselves instead of what little labels we've put on them. I've grown up in that area.

I: What made you write a short story about your experience dealing with the sexism that goes on amongst some guys?

A: I just felt the need to express the actions that go on from an "outsider" view of male immaturity and ignorance. This story is based upon interactions I've had with my friends and women around me. At the time of the event, I considered myself an "outsider" because I've never felt the stereotypical way males have been trained to think about women. But I don't necessarily know how women would think of it either. I'm like a third party that gets to only observe.

I: What's an "outsider" view?

A: I was not taught to be male. I was taught socially and emotionally to be female and so in some aspects I am an outsider that gets to feel differently than those males who are absorbed by the emotions and feelings. It gives me a unique perspective of this life. I'm like an unbiased viewpoint.

I: What does being male mean to you?

A: I believe it is no longer having to self-edit myself. For me, living as a female was constant self-editing. Don't walk like

that, don't talk like that, don't sit like that. Now, as a guy, I sit any damn way I want to. And I didn't see it that way until I read Schilt's "Just One of the Guys". That's actually where I got the words to express how I felt.

I: Are there parts of you that you believe are stuck being female?

A: No. I don't think there is one way to be a male or female. You are what you claim to be and the unnecessary gendering that goes on is ridiculous. I like taking care of my younger siblings and even though it's become more and more popular for males to be the homemakers, it's still a very feminine thing to do in the eyes of society. Society doesn't believe that life is a buffet of characteristics and that you can pick and choose, that's how I view it.

I: Was it hard to write so close to your life?

A: I didn't want my friends to come off as assholes but 'Vince's' character was spot on. I toyed with how to make him less of an asshole but then I realized that it defeated the point that I was trying to make. Men still objectify women and there's nothing being done about it. Men and women alike are accepting this behavior. So the short answer is yes but in the long run I had to write the truth and then it came easy.

Quotes:

"Female-socialized people do not always think, feel, and behave in normatively feminine ways; however, they understand the consequences of rejecting the idealized expectations of femininity"

For Winston, the only difference was that looking like a man gave more legitimacy to what he viewed as his innately male behaviors. "For me, living as a female was constant self-editing. Don't walk like that, don't talk like that, don't sit like that. Now, as a guy, I sit any damn way I want to."

Sources:

Schilt, Kristen. Just One Of The Guys? : Transgender Men And The Persistence Of Gender Inequality. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2010. eBook Collection (EBSCOhost). Web. 2 Apr. 2015.


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